#Springin' Chip

[th3-0bjectivist]

25’ PAGE UPDATE W/ PAGE MASCOT, SPRINGIN’ CHIP!

Heya folks! Page mascot Springin’ Chip back with a page update! This update is so important that I’m taking a five and one-half second break from obsessively licking out my sister’s infected ear canal. Absolutely NOTHING could possibly stop these deep, constant and passionate canine wet willies… UNTIL NOW. So, pay attention for a moment, because this update will make you mentally and perhaps physically climax and then bask in the post-nut afterglow you need to keep logging on to this pornbot infested platform we know as Tumblr.

If you wanna know how I am these days, I’m just fine, lots of joy over here as always for this pup! I’m still a smartass lil’ shithead whose too smart for his own good. I’m getting into lots of unnecessary conflicts with larger, monster-male dogs lately because I’ve developed a Napoleon complex which makes me insecure, jealous and aggressive. Give me a break folks, I’m a small dog/man! My testicles are literally forfeit these days, you’ve got to assert yourself somehow!!! It’s only a matter of time before a Doberman or Pitbull bites my cocky little jabroni ass, and rightfully so, and maybe then I’ll finally learn my lesson! But today I’m just here to drop a page update and then get right back to licking that sweet, sweet ear pus.

Some of you may be thinking as you’re reading this, “Why is this delusional asshole talking through his spaniel? Why in the name of all that is holy should I care about ear pus!? Please, for the love of God, go away!” Well, dear Tumblr, in the next few weeks we’re going to show you precisely WHY you should stick around, as th3-0bjectivist WILL BE BACK IN JUST LESS THAN A MONTH. This week and next, we’ll be offering a half-month blowout as a preview. Our Four-Item Itinerary for mid-2025 to beg-2026 is as such:

A. DROP ONE METRIC ASSLOAD OF NEW PAINTINGS. This year is all about personal artistic incrementalism and evolution. Original abstract paintings used to be REALLY popular on this page, still are, and we hate to sound like every other artist that has ever existed but we’re moving out of the abstract phase this year. However, to honor the past we’ll be posting abstract backgrounds which will serve as a mere base for at least six or seven fully realized fantasy-themed brush paintings! If you like the animated art on this page, you’re gonna get animated abstracts as well as fully realized moving art all year long! Lucky you! B. POST NOTHING BUT UNPOPULAR, BUT BRILLIANT MUSIC. As we’re getting a late start in 25’, we might as well reboot the musical rotation on this page by posting tracks by some of the most criminally underground musical artists imaginable. We’re only going to be posting music SO UNDERGROUND you can only find it on this blog, or on a few other dark corners of the internet, every two-to-three weeks! C. MAKE THE AUDIENCE LAUGH/PROMOTE THE EVERLOVING SHITE OUT OF OTHER ART BLOGS! Lots of memes and goofy horseshit from other, more comedic Tumblrs as usual moving forward! A time-honored tradition on this blog, to be sure. Also, lots of art is gonna be on display this year by Tumblr artists that have earned exposure and deserve respect for their skill and dedication to their craft. D. ABSOLUTELY NO INSUFFERABLE PARTISAN POLITICS. You know how these days every other person on this platform thinks they’re some kind of economic/political pundit as a result of the election!? We don’t do that here! Our politics are unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but our art is! That’s because art is resistance and immortality, folks! You want an interpretation on modern politics from this page!? Fine, but you’re going to have to painstakingly read between the lines because unlike other ‘art blogs’ I could mention, politics are not overtly expressed on this page to ensure maximal entertainment and satisfaction for EVERYONE who views it, and not just one wing, section or subsection of the modern political paradigm.

After the upcoming half-month preview, which we’re mostly doing just to measure the Tumblr winds and waters, we will then engage in a slow-motion rollout of content into early 26’. There will be absolutely no rushing of anything this year. So, enjoy folks! We love you! We miss posting to this platform, and as such, without further ado, let the half-month preview… begin! Oh, one last thing, folks! Check out our Deviant Art page, its full of crispy artgifs… far higher in quality than we can offer you with Tumblr’s arbitrary 10MB file size limit… and it serves as our full art gallery and online one-stop-shop. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got a pus-filled ear canal to insert my bare tongue into for at least the next quarter-hour or so! It’s a living, folks! Happy 25’!

Stay chipper, Springin’ Chip

[kittievampire]

I had given this idea to someone but it never got made so 🥲 Anyways, I hope you can make something out of this crack idea. Mammon leaving to the human world for like a week for modeling but for whatever reason (you can make one up or it can be a misunderstanding after an argument etc) his brothers think he's leaving them for good. You know never talking to them and cutting off any ties to them. So his brothers beg him not to leave, cry their crocodile tears, promise to be better etc only for Mammon to be confused af and then clear up the misunderstanding 😂 I really hope something can come to fruition out of this dumb ass idea lol.

This one made me cackle in an unflattering way

Sorry it took so long for me to write this for ya, anon, ily tho

There's no MC mentioned in the request, so MC will be a bit of a side character in this one, love y'all

Lemme see what I have in my bag, my dear~

Click here if ya wanna request!

Don't Leave, Mammon!

Warnings: Family Arguments, Misunderstandings, Light angst, a lot of crack-head energy, MC's just kinda there

Enjoy.

It'd been about three months since you'd left for the human realm.

The House of Lamentation didn't change, it was always in a state of chaos. However, one could tell that your absence had taken a toll on the brothers, each in their own way. Not that this was exactly a bad thing, their lives had been changed thanks to you, and they wanted to carry out your parting wishes to the best of their ability. They became more responsible, more kind-hearted, and more merciful.

However, siblings will do what siblings do best: Argue over bullshit and cause each other stress.

"StupidMammon! Did you take money from my wallet again?!" The Avatar of Envy shouted from across the hall as he approached the white-haired sin. "I was saving that for an exclusive Limited Edition Hana Ruri: Prestige Version Gaming Set, controller, headset, and figurine included bundle! Give it back right now!" Mammon turned his head to face his brother, shades slipping down his nose a bit. "Eh? I didn't steal shit from you, Weeb! Quit assumin' stuff!"

The sound of the door to Satan's room closing made the two flinch, a small sigh following the closing of a book in the blond's hand. "There you go with the lies again, Mammon. Just give him his money back, spare the ones in earshot the headache." The Avatar of Greed jumped, turning toward Satan. "I swear, it wasn't me this time! I didn't do nothin'!" He held his hands up in surrender. "You're being loud," A soft voice erupted form the twins' room, the source being the messy-haired youngest with an irritated expression on his face. "Beel and I are trying to sleep, and you woke him up. Then, he woke me up." The Avatar of Sloth huffed out, the sin in question poking his head out from the crack in the door and the frame.

"Mammon stole my money again!" Leviathan practically screeched, tears welling up in his eyes. "I was saving it on a Limited Edition—" "Yeah, yeah, whatever, Levi. Mammon, give him his money back before he goes on a nerd-rant," Belphegor waved his hand dismissively, earning a nod of a agreement from Beel. "Maybe you should hide it better next time, Levi," The Avatar of Gluttony said, munching on some Spicy Newt Chips.

"I'm tellin' ya, it wasn't me this time! I actually got a modelin' gig up in—" Mammon tried to protest, but was ultimately cut off once more. "What's going on here?" The eldest brother asked, face full of irritation from the bickering of his younger brothers. "Why are ya all suddenly springin' up from outta nowhere like this?!" Mammon whined, earning a stern look from Lucifer. "Of course, you're the culprit, Mammon. What did you do?" He seethed.

"I didn't do nothin'! I swear! Honest to Diavolo, it wasn't me this time!" The Avatar of Greed tried desperately to defend himself, only for his purple-haired brother to argue more. "He stole money from my wallet! I was going to by an exclusive Limited Edition Hana Ruri: Prestige Version Gaming Set, controller, headset, and figurine included bundle!" Lucifer deadpanned at his brother before pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing heavily. "Mammon, make this easy and just give it back."

The second-born looked around, only to see all of his brothers start to gang up on him, all repeating the phrase, "Just give it back," even though he never stole anything! At least, not this time. "I-It wasn't me this time!" Mammon tried to sputter out among the others' yelling. "It wasn't me!" He repeated, hand gripping the door knob to his room.

As the brothers continued to berate the second-born, Mammon turned the door knob and rushed into his room, slamming the door shut and locking it. "I'm fuckin' done!" He threw his hands up in the air, though the tone he had made the statement seem less playful than he meant it to be.

_

Lucifer clicked his tongue, adjusting his black gloves as he took a step toward his brother's door. "All of you just want to give me a headache, don't you?" He asked softly, earning a whine from Leviathan. "My Ruri-Chan!"

"Oh my, what's going on out here?" Asmodeus asked, opening his door and pulling up his face mask. "Do you know how important my sleep is to maintain the health of my glowing and radiant skin? What's the meaning of all this noise?" The Avatar of Lust practically demanded, though he kept a neutral tone because of the eldest's presence. The third-born turned to his brother in pink, pointing at Mammon's room. "Mammon took the money that I was going to use to buy a Limited Edition Ruri-Chan Figurine from my wallet!" He exclaimed, pulling his phone out and fumbling with it for a moment. He nearly shrieked. "And I wanted to be the first one to buy it! That's it, I'm summoning-" "If you summon Lotan, Levi, I can assure you, Mammon will be the least of your concerns." The Avatar of Pride warned, earning a yelp from the purple-haired sin.

Asmodeus glanced between the two before sighing heavily. "Levi, are you referring to the 200,000 grimm you left in my room a few hours ago while you were ranting about how excited you were to get the figurine?" He asked, opening his door wider and pointing to his vanity mirror, lights glowing, and grimm sitting on the desk.

The brothers all exchanged glances, and the eldest growled.

"Leviathan!"

_

When you saw Mammon at your doorstep, you thought that something bad had happened. He told you that he was here for a modeling gig, but you assumed that there was more to the sudden arrival.

"I just figured I'd pay ya a visit while I'm here, nothin' more, g-got it?" He asked, a light blush present on his face as he denied any other reason for his appearance.

You were worried, so you contacted the brothers to see what was going on. You were able to get a hold of Satan, who explained what was going on as best he could.

"I did hear him say that he was... 'done,' but... I didn't expect him to run off like that." The Avatar of Wrath seemed perplexed over the phone. "It seems like he was more upset about it than I thought... I'll tell the others, please keep him there as long as you can. Don't let him leave," He said just before ending the call.

You looked down at your D.D.D., letting out a small sigh as you turned toward your bedroom door.

Did your departure have something to do with this? Maybe you could help in some way.

_

Mammon insisted on sleeping in the same room as you, even if it had to be on the floor. When you were still awake, he'd started rambling on about his brothers and how annoyed he was, and you couldn't help but feel bad for him. He must be going through so much internally, and you were glad he was letting it out, even if it was under a cloak of sarcasm and pettiness.

In the middle of his rambling, though, you heard the front door swing open. Mammon jumped to his feet immediately, worried that there might be an intruder. Lucifer slammed the door to your room open, his brothers spilling out into the room after him.

Asmodeus immediately lept toward his white-haired brother, squeezing him in a tight embrace. "Mammon! Don't leave us!" He whined. "If you're gone, who am I going to party with?! Who's going to be there to splurge on shopping with me, hm?! I can't exactly take Levi or Satan with me!! Leaving is too cruel, Mammon! Too cruel!!"

The eldest looked down at the Avatar of Envy, tilting his head toward Mammon, motioning for him to 'go'. Leviathan shuffled over to his brother, looking up at him with an apologetic expression on his face. "I'm sorry, Mammon. I didn't mean to go blaming you and stuff, that's only what a normie would do. I didn't mean to make you leave!" Beelzebub came up after them, scooping all three of his brothers up into a tight hug, making Mammon wheeze as he tried to breathe properly. "O-Oi—!" "Don't leave Mammon!" The gluttonous demon sobbed, holding his brothers close.

"Beel, let them breathe." Satan chuckled softly, patting the sin on the shoulder. Belphegor and Lucifer stood behind the rest of them, the Avatar of Sloth feeling less enthusiastic than the rest of his brothers, though he could hardly blame them. Lucifer cleared his throat. "Release them, Beelzebub," He demanded. Beelzebub did as told, allowing the gasping demons in his arms to fall to the floor.

"W-What's this all about, huh?! Why're ya all actin' so weird?!" Mammon asked, grasping his chest as if to try and steady his heart beat. Asmodeus grabbed him by the shoulders. "Because you came to the human world to escape us! Because you were through with us, no?"

Mammon blinked.

"I have a modeling gig tomorrow..." He muttered out, making the entire room go silent. You bit your lip, a very frightening aura being emitted from the eldest sin. "And... That's the only reason why you left?"

The Avatar of Greed nodded, causing Leviathan to immediately recoil. Asmodeus kept his arms wrapped around him, tears streaming down his face. "Don't joke around like that again!! I thought I lost the only other interesting person in the House of Lamentation!" He whined.

Mammon scoffed, a small smirk forming on his face. "Of course ya'd be distraught! Losing the one and only Mammon is the most horrible thing that could happen! Ya should be greatful that I didn't!"

Silence fell upon the room once more, with the acception of Asmo's sobbing.

Lucifer then turned to you, a vein bulging from his forehead.

"MC, you would happen to have rope, do you?"

Hope you liked it, anon!

[the-name-is-chip]

Why Knot? || Lyp

Was Lyanna waaaaaaaaaaay out of Chip’s league? 

Absolutely. Yet here he was: getting prepped for a high stakes ropes course with one of the hottest girls he’d ever seen. And you know, the good thing about having a first date at a ropes course was that you really didn’t have time to settle on the butterflies, or worry about your sweaty palms, or getting your hair perfect. Nah. Chip had shown up to this date in work-out clothes and was only going to get sweatier and more disheveled, and that thought made Chip instantly more comfortable in his own skin, like he and Lyanna had known each other for weeks, instead of...48 hours!

Or maybe that was just Lyanna. She was a cool girl-- energetic vibes, a spark in her eye, a smile that shined a couple thousand megawatts. And actually kinda tall, which would be nice for this activity, since Chip was six foot himself. He was into her. Definitely. 

“Hey, lookin’ good!” he said to Lyanna as she got her harness on, then joked, “You ready to tie your life to mine and scale these ropes of death?” 

@a-springin-herstep​ 

[th3-0bjectivist]

Holiday Cheers and page update from page mascot Springin' Chip!

Heya folks! Springin' Chip here with a final, holiday message in 24'. Just wanted to let all the English-literate dogs out there know that.... you're okay. You made it through this difficult year, and while I personally was having a *great time* as a puppy, some of you were suffering a great deal. I know that some of you may live the life of privilege or comfort, and that's just fine, but for those of you who don't live a 'living-my-best-life' life, just know, dogs like me love you, no matter who you are. Dogs like me don't care about elections, or human laws, or arbitrary human nonsense in general. We just love you; for who you are, for treats, food, communication and everything you personally provide for us. Into the New Year, if you're struggling to get through your work week... just bear in mind, that week will be done before you know it, and then it's the weekend again! The same is true for the next month, it'll be over before you even realize it! And maybe, just maybe, at the end of next year, you'll look back and proclaim, "That was a pretty good year for once because I wasn't dreading each and every minute of my existence!"

We're going to be doing a th3-0bjectivist Best of 24' (highest performing painting, highest performing art-gif, and highest performing drawing) for this page in the coming weeks, and then we're outta here for several months. Based on the way people generally treated each other on this platform in 24'... it's probably gonna be a good and full half-year or more before th3-0bjectivist generates enough inspiration to come back! Tumblr is generally kind of a reality escape-hatch for us and 24' was vitriolically and toxically political all the sudden... which was not fun by any stretch of the imagination. But folks, it's the holidays, time to put the knives away and at least pretend you love your neighbor. If you know you wronged someone this year, tell them you're sorry. If you alienated someone this year with your personal brand of political whinging, try to mend fences and find some common ground... you're gonna need unnatural allies if you expect to win elections in the future, folks! If you burned a bridge that is repairable, repair it! And if you're in personal despair, financial ruin, or you're having a tough time in life, just keep in mind Chipper the Springer Spaniel loves you. Yes, you, the person reading this. So, go out with an unexpected bang this year; tell another person you appreciate them for once.

One more song to post, and one more drawing to post for the year. That's it, we're almost outta gas over here and desperately need to recharge the mental battery. For the th3-0bjectivist and on behalf of my fellowship of canines, Happy New Year, folks!

Best,

Springin' Chip

[th3-0bjectivist]

Quick update w/ Springin' Chip

Heya folks, just a quick update today.

First, on a bright note, I’m officially a one-year-old. Happy birthday to me!

Th3-0bjectivist will start posting again next week. But the state we’re in (North Carolina) just got rocked by a hurricane. Th3-0 works for an environmental monitoring company and even though we haven’t been personally affected by the catastrophic flooding, the disaster site is within 100 miles from us, and we can tell you, it’s bad, REAL bad. With everything else going on in the world these days, it seems like stuff is stacking up and people out there seem very distracted on Tumblr, including us. Looks like we picked the WRONG year to post so much new art. It just seems a little irresponsible to post anything on social media when so many poor people right around us are currently suffering. As such, production of art will likely slow down a lot as we look for options to volunteer in Asheville, NC to help survivors out, clear some debris, and wait for this wretched election to pass before we get really serious about art production again. We might even take several months off social media near the end of the year to mentally recover from such peculiar times.

I’ll have a proper page update posted soon. This page will be switching into Halloween mode which will hopefully provide some fun for Tumblrs out there. That said, see you in a week or so, and if you’re in any of the regions that are affected by disasters or an impending WW3… just know we really don’t care about your politics… we just hope you’re okay.

Best, Springin’ Chip

*****

The 0bjectivist on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2sONH8IwzL_2sZie0ZNSnw/

I’m also on BitChute: https://www.bitchute.com/channel/uvKfJpNkzkIL/

FULL ART GALLERY on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/th3_0bjectivist_gallery/ <—- Delete your Instagram account, I did, be a trend setter!

FULL ART GALLERY on DeviantArt at: https://www.deviantart.com/th3-0bjectivist/gallery

[th3-0bjectivist]

Springin' Chip with a 24' page update!

Greetings, dear follower! th3-0bjectivist has appointed me, Chipper the Springer Spaniel, as the official page mascot and acting spokescanine of this blog moving forward. It sure is great to be here! And might I say, the range of my vernacular as a mere canine has increased something like 28000% in just the last few weeks thanks to the hard lessons I’ve endured so far. Late nights in front of an English dictionary, lots of treats, and tons of sleepless nights have transformed me into perhaps the only English-literate puppy that has ever existed on planet Earth. From this point forward, I plan to operate as an empathetic, humorous, and nurturing presence to all of those on Tumblr into 2024 and beyond!

If you wanna know a little more about me to start, so far in life, I enjoy 1. Voraciously sniffing all manner of ass and crotch (if you approach me, please just spread fully eagle for one full minute, it lets me know who you are without you saying a word) and getting my own ass/crotch sniffed! 2. Pissing indoors (preferably on carpets to create an overpowering urine-miasma that permeates the entire room) 3. Attempting to playfully bite th3-0bjectvist directly in the balls with my nasty, bacteria-laden, inverted Spaniel teeth on a weekly basis!!

My pal, th3-0 and I, have long discussed my potential nickname on this blog. It has run the gamut from… Chip the Dip, to Chipper the Dick, to Chip the Prick, to Chipper the Testicle-Destroyer. In particular, the phrases ‘Stop biting me’, and ‘Hey, A-hole, cut that biting shit out’, and ‘Hey, dickhead, stop trying to bite my fuckin’ balls!!’ have strongly resonated with me as a puppy. I’ve realized very early on; it is essential that I improve my behavior otherwise I’m going to be hard-up on quality treats. And that’s what this blog will be all about moving forward… gradual improvement! Luckily, I have the good fortune of being cute as all hell. So, we graciously settled on the tentative title Springin’ Chip to instead highlight the positive aspects of our collective spirits and aspirations moving forward. New year, new positive goals! Folks, just look at my pics! Check out my feathered-ears and adorable face! Do I not have the perfect mug to represent a proper renewal of this blog?? And mug I will! If you continue to follow th3-0bjectivist, you’re going to see me grow up slowly over the next few months and years! Anyways, onto a bit of business…

My new friend, th3-0, has instructed me to give you an official page announcement! He will be back soon (end of March) with new art and drawings, music and commentary, goofy-ass memes, and more! This year (2024) th3-0 will be putting an artistic focus on dimensionality and expression by doing lots of drawings of expressions on human faces! He will also attempt to make some paintings with a little more -- POP -- than in previous years by incorporating a liquid background behind a solid mass of brushwork. If you like music, and who doesn't (??), this year will be the year of the musical double-feature! That means every time you see music on this page moving forward, there will be TWO SONGS by the featured musician(s) to highlight the range of said musician(s). Also, it’s election year! Now, I don’t have the vote myself, but you’ll have me around as your comical, politically neutral, and stalwart companion while everybody else on Tumblr is being just about as polarizing as they can be without directly and openly supporting terrorist organizations on the left or right side of the political spectrum! It’s gonna be a great year with this dog n' this blog!

Alright, gettin’ sleepy over here… you guys can fuck off for now. MORE 0bjectivist! END OF MARCH! NEW ART!!! DOUBLE-FEATURE MUSIC SHOWCASES EVERY OTHER WEEK!!! MEMES AND GIFs!!! SNARKY-ASS COMMENTARY!!! AND MORE OF MY BALL-BITING ADORABLE ASS!!!

Best, Springin’ Chip

[th3-0bjectivist]

Chipper and Romi, A Love Story (and page update w/ Springin’ Chip)

Heya Tumblr folks, its page mascot Springin’ Chip here, and its autumn! And I’m in loooooove. Met a young woman. Her name is Romi. Young love is painful, folks. It’s supposed to teach you lessons that’ll help you adjust as an adult. And let me tell ya, there’s lots of pain in this relationship! So far, Romi and I enjoy playfully fighting in the park, late-night sleepovers, and deep talks about our future and the nature of the universe. It’s good to find something positive in 2024! I hope you had little specs of happiness this year as well. ANYWAYS, onto the brief page update.

So, folks, we’re going to be taking election week entirely off, maybe two weeks. When we get back, we’ll have three more songs to post and a few more paintings/drawings in 24’. Why take election week off you ask?? Well, primarily because partisan politics completely ruined Tumblr this year. It literally sucked all the fun out of everything and turned some usually normal people who we follow(ed) into shrieking, insufferable, irrational, pants-shitting dipshits. There’s nothing more useless than keyboard activism, and when we log in to Tumblr, we’re mostly looking for something that helps us mentally escape the harsh reality we’re living in. I mean, folks, as a dog, I really couldn't care less how you vote. What you do in the voting booth, just like in your bed, is none of my damn business. I followed your blog because I think you create exceptional art, or take excellent pictures, or generate excellent poetry, or make quality sounds, or because you have some hidden X factor, or because I think you’re a goddamned bona fide genius. I do NOT come to Tumblr for politics for several reasons, but mostly because… no one on here is a political expert and I’d rather not know how you vote at all. I’d rather you keep me guessing at how you vote and keep that to yourself. If for no other reason, because your politics matter to you, and I appreciate a bit of mystique.

Th3-0 wants me to tell you he early voted in North Carolina today. He said it was easy; he showed up early, he’d done his research beforehand, so he knew how he wanted to vote, it took like ten minutes. It was like, zip-zip-zip. The people at the voting site were friendly, the ballot process was streamlined. You don’t need to know how th3-0bjectivist votes. All you need to do is stop telling others how to vote and go out and vote. If you’re with friends or family that haven’t voted, tell them, “Okay c’mon! We’re all gonna go vote now!” Stop whining, stop whinging, and just go and vote folks. These last six months have been exhausting and demoralizing for the entire US. And if your side loses, learn how to lose with grace. Don’t let them see you sweat and think to yourself; what did my side do wrong to lose this election!?

Depending on the seismic reaction after the election, it could be up to two weeks until this blog is back up folks. Just please, grip fast to your mental health, hold your nose, and treat each other with respect. This year has been crazy enough. There’s no need to get crazier. th3-0bjectivist’s blog will be back for about two months and then after that we’re gonna take a LONGASS break from this platform to recover from the wretched, traumatizing, ass-ramming partisan shitstorm that was 24’.

Alt-links below in case you miss th3-0.

Stop bitchin' and just vote, Springin’ Chip

*****

The 0bjectivist on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2sONH8IwzL_2sZie0ZNSnw/

I’m also on BitChute: https://www.bitchute.com/channel/uvKfJpNkzkIL/

FULL ART GALLERY on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/th3_0bjectivist_gallery/ <—- This just in, Instagram is for selfie-takers and living-my-best lifers! Delete your account early, just like early voting! We deleted our account this year, and we don't miss it!

FULL ART GALLERY on DeviantArt at: https://www.deviantart.com/th3-0bjectivist/gallery

[th3-0bjectivist]

End-O-Summer 24' Page Update w/ Springin’ Chip!!!

Heya, folks! Page mascot Springin’ Chip here with a real quick update, after all, it’s what I’m paid for around these parts. While th3-0bjectivist is away on vacation I’ve been charged with acting secretarial duties, and I just wanted to play catch up.

Hoooo boy what a crazy ass year it’s been, eh folks!? What with attempted assassinations and people losing their minds over elections, it’s been kinda slow around here! But to keep matters light today, I just wanted to let everyone know I’m nearly a year old. I’ve been eating lots of trash lately if I can help it, and I’m getting a little overweight on three square meals a day + anything I can find in the trash. These days, I feel more like a Chunk than a Chip, but I am very, very happy. Oh, and I’ve got a girlfriend these days, name is Romi. Check it out!

Anyways, enough poppycock. The main reason I’m here is to announce that th3-0, to the end of the year 2024 and hopefully into 2025, will be putting out a series of paintings of cities based in a post-apocalyptic fantasy world. There are two things we REALLY like to do on this blog, and that’s paint and write. I don’t know about you, but with all this election stuff going on, I’m in desperate need of some escapism! And you’ll find it on this page in the coming months! Every few weeks or so, th3-0 will put out a new painting based in a fantasy world, a World he has created from scratch, and underneath the painting will be a short piece of written lore to bring context to the larger story of the World and its history. It’s gonna be ambitious, and experimental, so please join us on this page for more art in the future. Really excited about this series!

Just want to remind everyone also, we have high definition art-gifs, an online store and a full gallery over at Deviant Art. Links are below. You can also check out the th3-0’s dead YouTube channel! We are currently looking at options to restart some recording operations sometime next year. And to all of you stressing over politics, relax. Seriously, I’m a dog. I know, okay!? It’s gonna be okay. Relax please. For fuck’s sake, relax.

That’s about it fellow literate dogs. You’ll no doubt see me again soon, I’m a page mascot after all. Chipper signing off, got a play date with Romi.

Best,

¬ Springin’ Chip

__________________________________

The 0bjectivist on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2sONH8IwzL_2sZie0ZNSnw/

I’m also on BitChute: https://www.bitchute.com/channel/uvKfJpNkzkIL/

FULL ART GALLERY on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/th3_0bjectivist_gallery/ <—- screw that garbage website, anything connected to Failbook is poison!

FULL ART GALLERY on DeviantArt at: https://www.deviantart.com/th3-0bjectivist/gallery

[th3-0bjectivist]

1500 FOLLOWERS CELEBRATION post w/ page mascot Springin' Chip!

Heya folks! Springin’ Chip here with a very special celebratory post! This last week, th3-0bjectivist hit 1500 followers! To be fair, about a quarter of his followers are more than likely AI pornbots, but let’s not get hung up on unnecessary details! Being a canine, there’s very little that I can personally offer our audience on Tumblr… save for some drool, dog snot, and poop. So, we’re going to celebrate the only way I know how!

Pictured with me in this photoset is my big sister, Ruby, and for this commemorative post you get to watch me beat her up! I assault my big sister all the time these days, sometimes for no reason, numerous times a day! I think she likes it! If weight class and overall size were a factor, Ruby could just brush my little Spaniel ass aside like a dust bunny. But she plays well with me, and just lets me kinda passively dominate her most days. Works for me! On with the festivities!!!

And now for some page lore! About a decade ago, th3-0bjectivist was comically barely known as v3ritasartiste on Tumblr. It was a page centered around conspiracy theories… and art, and music. And whooooooo boy, did it suck ass through a bamboo straw! The layout was atrocious, the conspiracy-addled dipshit in charge of the page had no idea what he was doing because he was high out of his mind on government-strength sativa and indica strains 24/7, and nothing he posted made a lick of sense! After gaining a whopping 78 followers over two years, butt-hurt and utterly disregarded, v3ritasartiste shut down his page out of pure frustration.

Yeah, take that Ruby! Years later, during the stay-at-home fallout from ***THE UNSPECIFIED VIRUS FROM UNKNOWN ORIGINS***, v3ritasartiste became th3-0bjectivist with three main goals in mind: 1. Jettison the conspiracy bullshit entirely 2. Create a page that actually makes contextual sense 3. Promote art, both own and others. And, by gum, it worked! Well… sorta. There was still a learning curve and he pissed off a few people to start things off (those blocks were well-earned in retrospect) because he was too brash and cocky, but some social refinement and further diversification of materials led us to where we are today. 1500 and counting!

Do ya see how Ruby just lets me rule her!? She could swallow me in a single gulp, damn I love her so much! Getting back to the point of this post, th3-0 wants you to know he greatly appreciates your follows, your likes, reposts, and most importantly your presence here on Tumblr! You may not realize it, but we’re all on a journey together while we’re on this platform. th3-0 has been able to share some of his joys, sorrows and art with you over the years… and those moments aren’t just precious, they are the universal moments that bring us all together as a species. Well… not me personally per se. Just to be clear, I’m a dog! Th3-0, who is a human, just wanted me to express those things to you… yeah, that’s the ticket.

Unlike last year, we’re at full mast with new art. We’ve got plenty of new paintings coming which just need to be more fully realized. We’ve practically cornered the market on original painting-animations on Tumblr, and musical entries and snarky commentary will continue to flow like wine until we’ve determined they are no longer working for us (which will be NEVER). Warts and all, th3-0bjectivist LOVES Tumblr. And just a reminder, if you’re ever interested in purchasing some canvas work, which would really help us, just head on over to our page on DeviantArt and browse the selections in the Featured section. Our wall decorations can make your home or business weirder and more wondrous at the same time! Tumblr restricts gifs to a pathetic 10MB download, which severely confines the visual quality of the gifs. But on DeviantArt, all our artistic gifs are available in high definition and they’re free to download!

Time for a nap with my big sis…. while th3-0bjectivist deletes 386,712,364,871,236,857,623,547,612,376,451,457,282,367,487,264 pornbot messages from his Tumblr inbox! Thanks Tumblr, we love you all!

Until next time fellow literate dogs, ¬ Springin’ Chip for th3-0bjectivist

The 0bjectivist on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2sONH8IwzL_2sZie0ZNSnw/

I’m also on BitChute: https://www.bitchute.com/channel/uvKfJpNkzkIL/

FULL ART GALLERY on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/th3_0bjectivist_gallery/ <---- screw that garbage website, we deleted our profile this year!

FULL ART GALLERY on DeviantArt at: https://www.deviantart.com/th3-0bjectivist/gallery

[th3-0bjectivist]

MAY 24’ PAGE UPDATE: We’re on Deviant Art now + EPIC INSTAGRAM RANT w/ Springin’ Chip!

Heya folks! It’s your new page mascot, Springin’ Chip, with a page update and this adorable pic of me growling at the camera.

I seem to have a natural penchant for making disturbing and unnatural faces for the camera, so we’re just going to roll with it for this post until the magic runs out! If you wanna know how things are going for me, eh, y’know, I’m fine I suppose. I’m sniffin’ lots of ass n’ crotch these days! I’m also trying to grab food off the kitchen table and counter if I can reach it (I have VERY long legs and I’m a food-aggressive A-hole), and I’m putting every possible thing that’s on the ground directly into my mouth! Being a puppy is awesome, it’s almost like you don’t have to be responsible for anything and everyone just cleans all your messes for you! Carpe diem, folks!

Firstly, thanks for all the likes and reposts out there, this page is officially full steam ahead! It’s beyond full steam ahead; it’s a rusty freight train operated by a perma-drunken operator at breakneck speeds over a shallow ravine!!! One of our paintings (that we thought was a real piece of shit) ended up getting nearly 500 hits within a few weeks! And just a few little house cleaning items; the next few weeks will be SPACE ART WEEK 24’ on this page, meaning everything we post will be space-themed. We do it every year on this blog, sometimes twice a year, and we mostly use it to bridge periods of slow art generation. We’ve got new art coming in about three weeks, for now enjoy the space art gifs and cosmic images.

***** And now for the primary page update: I wanted to draw your attention to the fact that th3-0bjectivist is on Deviant Art now. Earlier this year, we shut down our art store on Poshmark (it was simply not a great place to sell art, good overall site for more practical sales though). We also shut down our gallery page on Instagram. So, if you’re looking for a place to view a full gallery of, AND perhaps purchase th3-0bjectivist’s original art, please check out our Deviant Art page. If you would consider a purchase that would certainly be appreciated, money is TIGHT for us these days, my friends! For a pissed-off but comprehensive rant of Instagram from me, please click just below. *****

I suppose you guys want my review of Instagram in proper English now, then? Y’know, folks…. I busted my dog-ass to learn English for my contributions to this blog. The LEAST you could do for me is go out and learn just a little bit of canine for my sake. But, okay humans, without further ado, here’s the expletive-laden top five reasons th3-0bjectivist left Instagram in GLORIOUS ENGLISH!

1- Instagrams’ UI/UX eats ass with bare hands. I’m a dog, folks. I like ass. I like ass A LOT. You know what I DON’T like!? Having my nose forcibly buried deep inside IG’s plastic, ugly, squarish, basic-bitch design sphincter. I mean, seriously, who came up with this design ethos!? Josef Mengele? Text that you have to squint to see!??? The fact that I have to click on things several times because your wonky-ass click-targets are so small you gotta break out a lens magnifier to see where the hell they begin and end!?? Reminders to follow blogs that you purposefully unfollowed months ago?? Fuck that noise! This isn’t a website, merely looking at Instagram is torture under Geneva statutes and I would seriously advise anyone out there reading this to avoid IG’s horrendous site design at ALL FUCKING COSTS! You’d think over time Instagram would get better at this shit! Nope!! Same bullshit on Instagram, somehow gets WORSE every year. EAT ME, IG!!!

2- Instagram is simply NOT a friendly place for artists anymore. Never really was! Looking to promote your art on our platform!? Too bad, bitch! Sit your ass down and watch the SHITTIEST of shitty videos that our algorithm prioritizes over promoting an actual resurgence of grass-roots American culture because we are desperately trying to keep up with TikTok. Great initiative, IG! Hey next year, why don’t you try to bring EVEN MORE shitty videos of white pre-teen girls trying to dance in sync with Lady Gaga classics! WOOF! WOOF with a burning, acidic bark you clueless dipshits!

3- There is no sense of community on Instagram. We sign on to Deviant Art, for the first full day we are inundated with messages from absolutely everyone that notices we’re new… and they welcome us to the community. We sign on to IG, everyone ignores our profile in unison. Why? Because community is NOT prioritized on Instagram, the INDIVIDUAL is. This is the primary reason why it’s so common to see selfies on IG that depict a veritable slideshow of a ‘perfect life’. We know the whole ‘perfect life’ shtick is an act, folks. Again, I’m a spaniel dog, and even I can recognize you shouldn’t be smiling that much in all your pics… that’s not natural! But then again, if it weren’t for the ’perfect life’ selfie and couples shot, why would Instagram even fucking exist in the first place? Am I right folks!?

4- Too many scammers on Instagram. It’s amazing how, every time we post a painting to IG, we get a message from another motherfucker who wants to purchase our art NFT! WOW! What a deal! So, let me get this straight… I sell my digital art to you at NO COST for our work, and I get… nothing in return! Fuckin’ nothing. No money. No digital rights. No citation for intellectual property. No respect. No nothing. Hey NFT scammers!! Here’s the deal from here on out. You want our art NFT!? We want 10,000 dollars, per piece, up front. We’ll give you our Zelle account, send us 10,000 dollars, up front. No more bullshit. Send us money, send us money now. You want the intellectual property to own!? We’ll trade it for cold, hard, dirty, fatass dollar bills!!! You pay, we provide. You could just buy the physical canvas art and do whatever you want with it afterward! We’ll ship the damn thing to you for a pittance. JUST GIVE US THE LITTLE BIT OF MONEY WE’RE ASKING FOR YOU PEDANTIC, CLUELESS, INTERNET NFT SCAMMER-BITCH!!!

5- Instagram is a property of Meta. Failbook sucks. Instafail sucks. Even Zuckerberg doesn’t have faith in his own properties, to the point where he has cashed out to the tune of hundreds of millions and is actively seeking to hide away, underground, once the economic shit hits the fan in the United States. What a stand-up guy! All of you who are on Facebook and Instagram might want to start jumping ship while it’s still first-and-fashionable to do so.

As bad as Tumblr can be sometimes, at least there’s a community here. At least we have something of a megaphone here. And yes, we have our beloved pornbots, but the artistic community here still has standards, which is why we push for tasteful nudes over full on penetration. Check out th3-0's page on Deviant Art and enjoy SPACE ART WEEK 24' folks!

Thanks for joining me, until the next page update/rant! Springin’ Chip

[the-name-is-chip]

Be My Escape || Lyp

So, apparently, prom was a thing! 

Chip was freaking excited about it! He’d only seen stuff about prom in movies and TV shows, but never actually got to experience it for himself. That was total human bean culture (though he figured there were probably some School Borrowers out there who had their own little prom. That made sense.) But hey, turns out it wasn’t too late! Enchanted Garden, here comes Mr. Chip Jones! 

Hopefully...with a date. 

He’d hesitated about asking Lyanna, honestly. He had been seeing her super casually throughout the semester, but they’d never solidified anything thus far. He was chill with that-- as a busy RAS agent, a relationship could be tricky. Plus, she was busy too. So maybe she wouldn’t be into the idea of prom. It might be too... coupley. 

Chip was taking his shot anyway. And oh, he was gonna go all out. You didn’t just ask a hot girl you were seeing to prom. You promposed. So observe: 

“Man so glad you could come out. I’ve been wanting to do an escape room forever!” Chip exclaimed as they got ready to do an Escape Room that Chip had may or may not planted some additional prom clues in. “You got experience with this kinda thing, I hope? You gonna be my Escape Room Sensei?” 

@a-springin-herstep